Whether you’re a new follower of my blog or have been with me for the past year, I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for visiting this site! This digital medium is a bright, exciting canvas for me as an artist. I can connect my thoughts and visuals in ways that I love to explore. Currently, I do not earn any money from this website, so your support in the form of likes, comments, follows, reblogs and sharing mean so much to me!
Several very inspirational and talented bloggers have kindly shared my blog with their readers in the past few months: The Silent Hour, Bipolar Brat, Dylan Andersen and Tom Being Tom. I would like to thank you all for your great support and encouragement! THANK YOU!
I would also like to take this opportunity to introduce myself a bit more, my intentions and my artistic vision, especially to those new to the site.
The concept for this blog first came to me visually as a circle. I thought of a circle because of its minimalism, universality, and beauty. Circles can give a sense of enclosure that is comforting but not overwhelming or constricting, hence: A “Light” Circle.
This circle (uh site) is, first and foremost, a safe space to explore difficult, murky, complicated modern topics, many of which happen to be controversial, hot-button issues such as globalization, identity, immigration, sexual harassment, racism and xenophobia. However, my intention is not to blame, provoke, or gain notoriety, or even to convince anyone of the “rightness” of my way of thinking. I want to explore these issues in a unique, mindful and artistic way to gain a deeper understanding of them and of life. I want to examine the contradictions, dualities and commonalities that exist everywhere—elusive and blatant, wavering and fixed. And I want to engage in a deep, meaningful dialogue.
I consider my “posts” to be essays focusing on a particular subject, emotion or theme. I create nearly all the artwork myself out of paint, ink, charcoal and photos. As much as I love to share these creations of my hard work and time, it is also important to tell you that I am, myself, undergoing a process of emergence. I am an emerging writer and artist. I have arrived at this career through a very narrow road with many twists and blind corners.
Throughout most of my life, I believed that I didn’t matter. I believed that nothing I said, thought or felt was or would be of significance. I didn’t always believe that and I certainly don’t believe it now. Rather, I came to believe it through my unconventional, somewhat ascetic upbringing, growing up in a devout, struggling immigrant family, often isolated and marginalized. Also, through the many messages young artists and writers receive from “sensible” grown-ups that the Arts are inessential, superfluous, or extremely risky.
For a long time I tried to be someone else, someone who had no strong creative urges, someone who was good at math and science, someone who sold other people’s work, who always did what they were told. Someone who was quiet and never made any waves. In doing so I became very good at being invisible.
A few years ago, shortly after my mother passed away, I began to think about my invisibility, my abandoned artwork and my long unheeded desire to create. I thought about the things that kept me from wanting to be seen, from sharing, the fears I had of vulnerability, of criticism and the terrible possibility that I might not be as good as I think I am and could never be. But mainly, I thought of my own ego, how I had learned to be ashamed of it, despise it, reject it. Ironically, through the very insistence of the many over-inflated egos around me! Arrogant people who never got to know me or see any of my work!
Each time I sit down to write, or I begin work on a picture, I think this: Who do you think you are? Who the f*ck is M.P. Baecker?! I assume each of you looking at my work have asked these questions at one time as well. I don’t think there is anything wrong with questioning my validity or talent, in fact, I expect it of you. But to be fair, everyone creating something should be questioned in this way too. Frankly, if we questioned all our leaders and purveyors of information as ruthlessly as we do amateur artists, we would all be better off! But like humility, criticism is not evenly dispersed, it is neither fair nor balanced.
But the thing about invisibility is, what good is it if you don’t even know what it is you are hiding? What’s the use for humility when one has never truly tried to be ambitious? What good is it to be silent when one has never tried to sing? It’s time to find out. It’s time to emerge.
Text and images by M.P. Baecker © 2018.